Adenews agrees terms for EU talks

Adenews has accepted EU conditions to begin talks about accession. This follows Austria dropping its objections to the online news information service joining the EU.
"It is a great day for Adenews," said Gree C Businessman, proprietor of Man Mountain Enterprises, the company which owns Adenews. "Finally we will be able to sell porn in the EU on equal terms."
The citizens of Austria are particularly resistant to the idea of the online news service becoming an EU member state. Austrian Foreign Minister Maeduta Plastik said: "We really don't want this kind of riff-raff to have access to our country. We keep hoping they will get bored of the whole idea and just give up."
However, Austria has included some stiff conditions before Adenews can be accepted into the EU. These include:

• Adenews to become real country.
• Austrian ministers to get cheap suits (complied already)
• Adenews to move from offices in Worthing to area with internationally recognised borders.
• Adenews citizens to renounce desire for jobs in Austria, Germany and France.
• Adenews citizens to get decent haircut and trousers that fit.
• Adenews to rectify appalling position on human rights (viz chip shop for lunch).