Ninjury leaps to the aid of Germany

Mr Groy Ninjury, proprietor of Man Mountain Hyperpublishing which publishes AdeNews, has declared himself Chancellor of Germany following the elections there yesterday.
"Germany has spoken," he said. "And it is clear they want a new leader, but none of the candidates who stood for election."
Hans Voschtdisaffairrenoff speaking for current Chancellor Herr Schroeder said: "This is ridiculous. We are a democratic country and it is important that the new Chancellor is someone who actually stood for election."
Fritz Laekaglov, speaking for the main opposition candidate Mrs Merkel said: "On paper we won, but under Germany's complicated proportional representation system, it is not only votes that count. What matters is how well you did compared with expectations. Under that system it seems we lost. However, since Herr Ninjury did not stand for election, expectations for him were extremely low and so he must have done much better than expected. We think he has a very good case to be Chancellor."
Mr Ninjury has already proposed a new flag for his adopted country. It will feature his likeness crafted out of struedel.