Brown calls for newer Labour

Gordon Brown launched his campaign to take over as leader of the Labour party with a call for more newness, at the party conference in Brighton this week.
"It is time for New Labour to be newly renewed," he said. "It is simply not new enough currently and so I want to make it newer by newly renewing it. I want a newer newly renewed New Labour."
Coincidentally candidates in the Tory party leadership election are also calling for newness. "I want a new kind of Conservatism," said Mr David Campbell-Bannerman, the latest candidate. "Unless we make ourselves really really new, no-one will vote for us. That is why I propose renaming the party The Absolutely New Neo-Conservatives with Added Newness."
However, not everyone agrees that new is best. "They are just hiding the fact they are the same old parties by using the word new. If they were serious about being new, they would keeping starting new parties like I do," said Mr Robin Killjoy-Guilt of the party Tanned People Against Slightly More Tanned People.