Posh party gets posh leader shocker

The Posh Party has a new leader it announced last night. David Cameron is the poshest bloke to lead the party since Sir Alec Douglas Featherstonehaugh-Cholmunalay in the 1960s.
"What the party needs is a radical modernisation," Mr Cameron said. "And to signal that, it has elected me leader: a white male who went to Eton."
It is thought that Mr Cameron wants to change the rules so that future party leaders have to be one-eyed black women from the goth wing of the party. However, it now seems likely that this will not be mandatory.
"David will suggest this rather than impose it," said Cameron ally Oliver Leftwing. "It is a matter of presentation. We want to look like we might elect a one-eyed black lesbian, without ever actually having to do it. This is what David means by radical modernisation."